Hectic life

ok, I'm starting to feel that my life is meaningless. lol. Nvm. I'm not in the position to say that anyway. I have things to settle, students to look after, and best of all, I need to study! =(

How I long to serve God all my life - every hour, minute and second. Man! I'm going crazy with such a thought! It's been running back and forth, up and down, round and round in my head. Like one of my MCG member said - "We are so capable of doing something more for God! What are we doing now?"

To this extent I have been wondering if that's my calling. I can never get enough of serving. Nono, I should get whatever I have steady first. Otherwise it just says I'm doing it half-heartedly.

Alright, I should get started with roster or timetable. What time sleep and what time wake up, what to do and when to do. I feel that I should learn how to get really organized. Not that I want it; I need it actually.

Today I told God after my devotion that I'm feeling tired. Tired of settling life straight. I also talked about "him" and how I kind of manipulated myself for not wanting that relationship back. Funny thing is, I could feel Him chuckle at what I've said. Like a daddy smiling to his daughter when she's complaining about this and that, and then finally said, "You'll figure it out. Plan's been laid out, you just have to find it." Seriously, He's definitely my BFF. Jesus is like a brother saying, "Oh, I know that. You'll know how I felt I know you'll get by. :)" Never mind. I'm imagining. I guess I have to. Otherwise I'll be so bored because I don't know how to open up to other people. My ears are there to listen, but my mouth isn't exactly there to talk. Guess I like it this way because talking too much ain't that good.

Alright, gtg sleep. I need to be up early early. Have yet to scan many things. {x.x} I know that disorganized me have to go. I'm working on it! :)