Talking to a "past" friend is like a reminder of how much I've gone through, with God's grace and mercy that I made it through, and the conviction and motivation to know that whatever comes through will have to bow to God, who always and unceasingly protects me. I guess I'm always in a thankful spirit so that I do not take things for granted.
Having being updated with so many things, I guess I'm still convinced that I should really MIA, or even cut ties with them. Honestly speaking, I've never been close to them in any way and I'm not intending to witness or influence them in any way. Not that I'm afraid, I just don't think it'll benefit both parties in any way. You can just say I'm lazy to reach out to them, up to you. I just don't have peace about it.
I guess I'll change my phone line after I renew my line. I will just give the line to my parents. Relatives may get it but I will not entertain unknown calls. People should inform me about someone who might call, lest I'll ignore it. I'll not entertain agents' calls also and will update my status to unavailable. I may upgrade it because it's irritating to always go overboard with the internet and stuff even though I really scrimp a lot in data. Oh yah, I've not really looked at my case study yet.
At least I went there to clear some misunderstandings. After all, I do not need to see their reactions on their issues on our "friendship" matters because I don't think there's one to begin with. The point is, they failed to see things with a righteous perspective; they chose to look at the person whom they thought sent it. It's disappointing and no matter how many times they have disappointed me, the intense feeling just convict me to leave them alone. "Let them alone; they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch." (Matthew 15:14)
Besides that, the friend whom I just visited reminded me of the good times I had with "him". I am being reminded from time to time that possibility to get together again is high. I know it's contradicting, but the anxiety and excitement just clashes with each other. In fact, wars were waged every time this issue come into picture. I do not have peace even by the thought of being with him. Are we supposed to sharpen each other like irons (Proverbs 27:17)? Then he must learn to be submissive to God. I really can't bring myself to be submissive because I don't agree with the unbiblical things he did, which subsequently leads to disrespect (Ephesians 5:33b). Never mind, I'm not supposed to go to there anyway because I do not expect myself to do anything about it.
Anyway, though my day isn't as packed as Thursday (5 students), I'm feeling exhausted about it. Probably too much thoughts make people tired. I shall stick to full concentration on Sunday School Activities. God bless.
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