Psalm 119: 174-176

I long for your salvation, Lord,
and your law gives me delight. Let me live that I may praise you,
and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep.
Seek your servant,
for I have not forgotten your commands. (Psalm 119:174-176 NIV)

I gotten this verse from the book I borrowed from a sister who'll be going to Mae Sariang with me. This psalm is usually used to teach disciples to meditate the word of God on their own, using their own convictions.

I'm not that kind of really patient person so after reading it for sometime just to find the scroll still on top of my iPhone Bible, I realized that it's a really long psalm. Curious, I scroll all the way down just to find 176 verses. No wonder it's been chosen to be one of the psalm to be meditated on.

I was warned that a Christian's life is full of ups and downs. It'll never be a straight, boring life; it'll be a life full of trials and oppositions, temptations and convictions. After being a half-a-year baptized Christian, my life hasn't been all so smooth and nice. However, as I see the phases that I went through, the anxiety that I've experienced, the lifeline resembles a heart that is alive - having its line going up and down like a beating heart. I can still remember one of the elders said in catechism class, "having ups and downs in your walk with Christ shows that you're alive. It'll never be smooth-sailing because devil will grab any opportunity; having failed one time you would want to climb back up because you'll learn something from your mistakes." (not word-for-word quote)

Having to sin almost everyday, it does bring me to a level of humility. We just need a constant reminder from God that we are a sinner and we don't become some person who is like Mother Theresa overnight. Frankly speaking, I hate to sin; I cannot understand why I hate it and yet still do it. However, these verses helped me to understand better:

- "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41, Mark 14:38 NIV)

- For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18 NIV)

- My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26 NIV)

Which is why the verse in psalm 113 is important to me. In my flesh and sinful nature I know I'll fail, but with God's grace and mercy He'll set the path right for me, as I continue to seek His omnipotent nature to protect, love and comfort me.