I'm thankful for my growth as a child of God. I recently find myself verbalising my emotions. Although I still allow my thoughts to run wild about God's plan for me (it shows that I'm anticipating a great life from God), I begin to feel really happy about daring to express myself a little bit better.
I can still recall the anxieties I had when trying to let others know about how I feel. The feeling of being misunderstood isn't that nice. Anyway, I was surprised when I emailed Sister Charissa about my anxieties for going to the workshop. I love to go, but something is holding me back. I need spiritual guidance because I feel a great opposition in me. I won't say it's godly opposition, and it does feel like I may get some answers to my life from God which will change my life.
I can still remember feeling this when I entered SAC. That strong opposition was so strong I actually asked my mum if I could change my secondary school. Mum couldn't understand that anxieties I had. If I did not go to SAC, I may not be a Christian because twist of events cannot cut its link to my secondary school. This feeling is back, looking for its old friend.
Sometimes just thinking about it just takes my breath away. I don't know what is going on. Just pure fear that comes from nowhere.
I didn't know if that's God's calling. Like Jonas and Moses, I think when God calls I may run. I shan't feed my fear already. I should pray now.
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