Today a sister in Christ messaged me about her boyfriend. Her boyfriend takes defense against her as judgement whenever his past was brought up. To a certain level that his frustration was more outward (no physical abuse, just outward demonstration of his frustration). His action kind of scares me. Will he be able to control himself in future? The sister mentioned that there are things he does in regards to his past hurts her.
As I reflect on the things I've told her, I did ask myself questions. Why does he takes in so much defense when this sister just want to show she's feeling doubtful about him wanting to be forgiven because his actions just shows he hasn't? On the sister's side, I ask myself why she can't just let it go after all the password is a privacy thing? Besides, does men just change the password to please the woman or stood to their beliefs that they have truly let go of their past and by changing it just show that they have not? As I reflect more about it, the more confused I get from their reactions to this one small minor "password" issue.
Has she truly forgiven? Has he truly want to let go of his past?
That, only they themselves know.
Forgiveness is such a big thing in relationship. It breeds harmony and love. There are fear from those who forgives, thinking if they'll do what they did again. Those who are forgiven doubt whether they are truly forgiven and snap to judgement whenever fingers pointing to the past occurs. It's so hard to believe, on either side.
This has no doubt cast fear on me. My past is probably much worse than this brother in Christ. I ponder if godly man will truly be blessed upon me, or it's just my wishful thinking. I'm not like this brother because I'll just accept when being judged. Who am I to accuse people for judging me? I certainly did those things. This, only the grace of God can shine.
If I'm this brother, I'll just apologize and change the password. "Be at peace among yourselves. (1 Thessalonians 5:13)" how to make peace? Since changing password is no big deal, then just change it lo.
If I'm this sister, I'll apologize for making things look like I'm being judgemental. Explain why I was feeling the way I did, and ask him to pray for strength. None of them is right in the way they react, but I can understand why it had come to this. Grace is important for them and their relationship to grow.
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