I'm beginning to like Saturdays

I slept late last night. Woke up at around early noon to find out that I'm almost late for YAF. It does feels good to rest completely for a day.

I was late today and I suppose I missed quite a bit of stuff. Church-planting part 1 for today mainly consists of church-planting members. Felt out of place for a while. I'm still curious about evangelism and outreach, so such out-of-place feelings will not stop me from coming to YAF.

However, another evangelism workshop does. I've been seeking God's reply for weeks now. So far nothing except the strong urge to go. Still, I just want to be sure. I suppose I'm not sensitive to God's reply. Probably reading past devotionals may help.

I shared a lot about my family to Sister Charissa and I'm so, so glad I did. Seriously, if I dont, then my discipleship may just leave a gap between us, which is not what I want. Therefore, God has brought down the walls in me so that I can genuinely submit to willing to learn. I've learn a few tips from her to calm my emotions down.

2 Peter 1:5-6
"In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness."

The tip she gave was on calming myself down before lifting my everything to God. I can do this by picking a calming verse to recite slowly and gently, for a number of times. I told her my prayers doesn't lift the emotions away. Often times it just stays there and builds up with each prayer, coming to a really bad thought that God doesn't care. That's not true, because we have not truly and completely given up those emotions when we lift it up to him.

Another tip was on forgiveness. I told her about my family's situation (even it's settled now) but this resentment in me lingers. It's so bad that nowadays when dad tries to talk to me my blood just boils. I cannot explain such emotions, but I believe it's building itself up over the years. Hence she taught me this forgiveness method. She asked me to seek forgiveness from my dad for being disrespectful first so that it models to him and show him how seeking forgiveness should be and why it is important (because he'll feel better without holding grudges and brings the unhappy past out whenever he quarrels)

To seek forgiveness consists of 3 parts: 1, I'm sorry; 2, I'm wrong; 3, Will you forgive me?  I can use it this way: "I'm sorry for arguing. I know I'm wrong for being disrespectful. Will you forgive me?" Actually I can't imagine how silly I was to oversee the sinner's prayer and apply it to people around me. Probably I should one day do such things (and be really humble).

She also encourages me to encourage dad. By thanking him through SMS for buying meals for me, or even to boldly tells him that I'll be praying for him. If courage permits, to pray with him (he doesn't have to say anything; I'll do the talking). Let him know what I've been praying for him. Encourage him by saying that Jesus loves me therefore I know Jesus loves him too.

I know I have a lot of pride. As I'm typing these I do ask if I can seriously do it. If I don't do it now, when should I start? I love my family. Knowing that they'll be in hell (depends on what I believe (eternity) or they believe (before reincarnation)) still hurts. I'm not asking them to repent and seek forgiveness from God. More like Jesus can fill your empty hearts like He filled mine.

Anyway, I went to Mount Zion to buy a cheap cheap notebook with scriptures and some ang bao for my upcoming cousin's wedding and other scripture ang bao for my family's birthday present. Came across the new Manga comic called Messengers just to find out that I've made some silly mistake by mixing Isaiah and Elijah up. =.= If I mentioned that Isaiah was feeling depressed in the valley, please take it as Elijah.