Friday, 1 June 2012

She has no idea how much she hurt us and herself.

My heart is heavy. My mind wanders every now and then to her. Or rather, to everyone involved, including me.

This thing has been on for about a year now. However, it traced way back to two years ago, when I first joined the church. Obviously, I wasn't involved initially. As things started to progress, I can't help but get involved in it, since we were close at that time.

My first encounter with Aixin was a pleasant one. It all started with "Rio", the movie. We went to watch it after church service at Tiong Bahru opened a new chapter of our friendship. In many ways she is similar to me: she was teased, possibly bullied, in one way or another. Oh well, I've been bullied or tugged around like some pest for most of my life. Should I just say my friendship with others was superficial and was always considered low-rated to my friends. Unfortunately, I wasn't as fortunate as her. She still have friends who care for her since young. For me, I've decided to give them up because it had been miserable being with friends who backstabbed me at work, find me only when they need me, and had been bad-influence to me. Unfortunately for her friends, she did not seem to cherish; or rather, her actions don't indicate that she does. What hurts most is her comments in her Facebook which is free for all to see:


AX
May 27 via mobile
Not I don't cherish our friendship but i have feel that we been friends since childhood, friends around us did bother to show their care and approach to
find out what happens between us, you say u cares but i have waited for you to come find me though i say will find you but so long i never find you, you don't even have the initiative to look for me, you have looks for me because you are just concerns about things relates to your wedding , if not, i feel you don't even cares

    • David: Dun just put yourself in the good light and tell only your side of the story... you see her and pretend not to see her and talk... dun see her, cannot ask me or call her... no effort on your part and you expect other people to cater to you... the fact that you make things public confirms that you do not value the friendship at all

    • AX: I am not putting myself in good light , i never pretend i never see her , i just upset from the start that you all nv treat me as friend while i do, you yourself knows best

    • AX: I feels you all only trying to defends yourself despite you all knows what goin on but pretends you all don't know

    • David: I will not argue with you anymore... you know the facts for yourself on Sunday... just do not always think that you are the good person and everyone else is bad... we will not approach you but keep on waiting for you to make the first move to talk to us... the ball is now in your court... no need for us to defend ourselves.... your actions will help other people to see who you really are! THE END

    • David: You just proved my point... you want to pour out your feelings, approach us to do so and not on public space... do continue to treat other people as your enemies and calling them names.... may God judge you!

    • David: For the benefit of all people reading this post, we have really tried to keep quiet despite all these bombardments.... we have been keeping quiet to let God work all things out
    • AX: to say it nice is keeping quiet but the fact is u all do not bother

    • AX: stop the pretence & act this way as if i have blaspame against you all

    • AX: ‎& the fact you have just accused me of saying i been calling names which i never

    • AX:i have been keeping quiet all this while for 1 whole year

    • AX: For those who do not know the story, things have became so bad shape is because tolerance is limited

    • AX: things that have triggered till so bad is bcos 1st. i feel used

    • AX: ‎2. never felt i was treated as a friend before

    • AX: 3. i was a easy goin and forgetful person but i am a person with feeling

    • AX: ‎4. all the ppl in church knows about what is going on btw both of you eg. the engagement , i m upset not bcos i was not called but is the hurt as you all have called everyone but friends for so many yrs was left out

    • AX: ‎5. i have wrote my feeling cause i hurts alot but instead making things at peace.. David you have been condemning me

    • AX: ‎6. i have said where your testimony is bcos if you all have treated me as friendz if there is misunderstand anything that is so bad in shape you all will bother to find out more but you all never but keep condemning to the extend GOD judge me

    • AX: GOD know how hurts i have hurts by both of you

    • AX: lastly i have cherished this friendship so much that hope thing will turn out beta but the attitude of hack care made me feel you all don't want the friendship and y should i bother

    • AX: i mean David you have say GOD will judge me in (pt 6)

    • AX: Addin top of pt 4, there is alot more things that triggers



We have been praying for her. The reason why we don't want Shirlyn to approach her because she was the one who started the comments and she should clear it. Shirlyn should not approach her because she was not the one who starts the incident and hence should not be the one initiating the reconciliation. Even if she did approach her, so what? She doesn't even bother to reply a single message to her who wishes to reconcile with her.

It hurts most when I hear the pleas from David and Shirlyn. They were so frustrated until they really want to cry - not because she doesn't want to listen but because they couldn't help her. How did she get all these thoughts into her head? Her encounter keeps reminding the darkness I was trapped into. That decade of darkness overwhelms me. There are times I hear myself crying to God saying, "please LORD, don't let her go there. It's painful to even think back about it, much less go through it."

It is cruel to think this way, but if she continues posting such comments, I agree that David should give it to church authority to handle it, which is based on Matthew 18: 15-17. It's too much for us to handle. We love her as sister-in-Christ. I do, so much as to cry for her. Right now, Shirlyn and David has been guarding their hearts from anything from her, who is too consumed in her pain. Please pray for her, whoever-is-reading-this.


Matthew 18:15-17
New International Version (NIV)
Dealing With Sin in the Church15 “If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.  
16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c]  
17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

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