My daddy's worry

Today during breakfast and out of the blue, my daddy ask me to keep a look out for potential suitor. I merely replied, "slowly la..." in Mandarin. Then he continued saying that I should go observe how a man works and if that man is suitable to be my lifetime partner and that I'm not young anymore. I guess I was a little agitated because it's not that I don't want, but heavenly Father have not given one to me.....So I snapped him back saying he asked me to look carefully but with "added" speed. I was surprised by my action so I kept quiet. If I were to say I'm waiting for my heavenly Father to give, they'll look at me in disbelief because they are non-believers.

I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but being the only salt and light in this family (and I truly mean only one in my whole family tree), I have no one to turn to except my spiritual family. Even though it would be marvelous to have a courtship to support me spiritually, I'm not quite sure if it's the correct direction I'm looking at courtship.

Only God can give me strength to do all things through Christ. I just pray for strength to carry my everyday. Is it important to have courtship now? No. I have no peace in getting into one. Not that I'm worried, it's just that I am seriously not ready. So when will I be ready? December I guess. When I can shout out to God and say, "LORD!!! Thank you for Your providence. I want nothing more; but if You would like to give me more to bless others, teach me how to do it." Hope is there and here. The desire to get married is still there, but there are more things at hand that I need to settle.

I keep having this feeling of asking me to write down the questions about ready for courtship and my expectations. It seems urgent because it keeps ringing in my head. I'll see how it goes. I have a lot of things to do. I need to
1. De-clutter my room
2. Pack unwanted clothes
3. Organize my bags
4. Clear unwanted cosmetics and moisturizers and nail polish
5. Throw away stuff I know I will not use
6. Start designing clothes (gained a lot of ideas by going online window shopping @ cache-cache)
7. Pamper myself. :)

Oh well, let's see when I'll finish all these. need to get rid of some clothes, space and set life straighter. :)