I feel that I've backslided.

Weird headings right? Yea, I thought so too. Let's see how many things I've been serving for and learn from God thus far:

1. Junior Program
2. YAF publicity
3. Media ministry
4. Precept class
5. Sunday school camp
6. Jack's village (Thailand) mission on discipleship
7. Sunday bible study by Rev Yap (planning)

Wow. I'm surprised. The great seven. I love to serve. However, somehow I think I lost the purpose of serving. I treat serving as a new opportunity to learn because sitting in sanctuary don't exactly help you learn the most. That's still my belief. I still can take more, but I feel that I'm neglecting my ministry - family, in fact.

You know the amazing thing about blogging? It actually clears your head. When I was typing my last sentence, that family problem just got solved even without me knowing it. This thought, by the grace of God, was planted into my mind: I serve to learn so that I can impart this through my daily life and influence my family when I'm more mature spiritually. How amazing is that?

Also, recently I prayed about the desire to get married. I told God, if the timing is not now, please take the desire away from me lest I am distracted. Now not so bad and I'm living with a grateful heart that at least my life is improving much. Still living a grateful life and fearing that once I've cleared everything will my faith be like this?

Nvm, I'm out of topic already. I wrote the backsliding part is because I don't feel as zealous as I was. I used to treasure my YAF a lot but now it's all been occupied by my students and Sunday school camp. I'm not complaining. I guess I need to get away from YAF a little to settle other things.

Most likely I won't want to go into full time. Like a close brother in Christ, we are still finding purpose in life. I'd still want to do relief teaching for a while to get the overall idea of teaching before going into that industry. Joelle has not much time to lose and who knows, I may be called to do ministry work - something I have not come across but do hear a soft calling to that. I don't think I'll explore that until I clear my stuff. Which includes a 7grand eye transplant and a 3-over grand braces because I do not want heart attack at a later age. =X

Thank God I'm still hopeful in life. Though now seems to be my darkest time, I do pray that I remember this period when God pulled me out of the lion's den.