Today wasn't the nicest start of the day. My sister drank herself to a sorry state and vomited in the room again; except that there's an improvement - her vomit is in the bin. To one point I do feel sorry for the state she's in. Am I going to pity her? No. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves much better - a new born life in Christ. So in the midst of frustration I told God, "please help her live in a better (and godly, I hope) life". I'm not sure if the room is going to stink now (especially during noon), all I know is I'm not going home so soon lest she's still sleeping with the stench.
Then I proceeded to wash myself up for my tuition. I remembered my mum said that the blade of my Venus shaver came off. So I took another blade out and went to the bathroom, just to find out that it's spoilt. A shaver that has served me years finally came to an end. But I still have two blades untouched. I became angry again, telling myself how expensive this blade is and so on. After a pause, I realized how stupid it is to be angry about a shaver that is so old and no matter how expensive it was, the depreciation of the shaver has well overshot the amount of money I used to buy it. I laughed myself silly and went to take those temporary shaver to use. I realized it is so tough to actually keep cool. I thank God for such a fast conviction on me.
Knowing that my PSLE students will end this month, I am actually looking forward to one more new student (who is willing to wait till psle is over) and the changes in schedule. Also, I've cleared another credit card. The satisfaction of having $0 in the balance instead of a debit amount is just beyond imagination. Thank God for His mercy and guidance.
Life is much better ahead. It's no wonder people who believe in God becomes more and more joyful about God's plan and the ultimate home for us while others usually falls into despair because whatever they have worked hard in this life will go to ground with them when they died. I am still imagining seeing Albert Einstein, CS Lewis and many more historical and biblical figures in heaven if they are saved! :)
My heart has quietened down a little due to my extreme exhaustion. I guess 9students is my limit. Probably because I keep worrying when I actually have the time to study. And waking up almost everyday at 9am and usually reach home at 10 or 11pm is not funny to me at all. Sometimes I do hope that when I am ready I can say that I need a break. A tour at some beach place in Malaysia is good enough. Probably just a weekend away and just sit and do devotionals or read a spiritual book in an relaxed environment. I'm sure the experience is different.
I'm still convicted that I would like to have my own family. It's just that I've come to terms that it's not time, I'm not a fully grown Christian that is responsible enough to manage a family. I'm still praying with convictions God will grant me peace in whatever He wants me to do. To be able to submit to Him is a gift from Him because God doesn't need my submission. We need to submit to Him because we are created to do so.
Today I did my first outreach program!! I'm so thankful and grateful for such an opportunity. We were grouped into pairs and came acrossed a self-sufficient RJC girl, a catholic and a charismatic churchgoer. Thank God for such a blessed time. Of course I would see myself doing this more in future. Especially Sunday school camp. :)
Anyway, I've vomited out words accumulated from almost a week. Praise God in His sovereignty over us, especially my life.
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