Finally, IT IS DONE!! :D

I rejoice to the fact that my assignment was handed on time, with ALL questions answered!!! With only 4 hours left and 3 questions to go, I thought I couldn't make it and have to submit a half-completed (or 3-quarter?) paper again for the 4th time. Thank God for seeing me through! You have no idea how much He has helped in His sovereign ways.

For example, when I was tackling some questions, I would be prompted to work on other theory questions first. At first I did not listen and soon enough, I found myself panicking because I still couldn't solve the problem. Also, He know that I truly needed my Friday and Saturday so He sent my student to Kuala Lumpur so that I can work on my assignment. How wonderful is that plan of His?! Oh, and that program she attended (with her friends inside, she just shy away from the camera) was showed in the news on Monday night.

Also, today at 4am, I was almost dead-tired. I was prompted again to sleep, so I quickly went to make a cup of coffee and had a quick prayer that I would not oversleep and nap after that (it usually works on me). Although I overslept by an hour, I realised I did not panick. Instead, I went straight to complete my work.

Seriously, the calmness can NEVER be explained. Through acceptance of Jesus Christ and then allowing Him to work on you will you then unleash the power of peace, given by God and Jesus alone. I have to admit there are times I refuse to let Him take over, but through days of walking with Him will I realise that His plan is the perfect plan and all I need to do is to submit. How nice it is to know that your life's been planned and it's the perfect plan for you! Even Singtel, M1 and Starhub are unable to do that despite the many 'plans' they have to 'cater your needs'.

Finally, at 15minutes before the cut-off time, I managed to upload my answers into the system. I was surprised that I even make some time for prayer again before I submit the paper. I found that I wasn't me because the prayer was so humble and submitting. I did not pray for good marks, I just pray that this homework will glorify Him and that He'll bless my work. Indeed, He blessed the full transition and despite my nervousness, it all went through smoothly.

Alright, it's quite gibberish here. I just want to dedicate this entry to God. He is truly a mighty God! :)

How great is my God? Very great!

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31 NLT) I received a SMS from one of my students' parent saying my student is going to KL until tomorrow evening. I embrace the time because I can have one session less today and tomorrow to work on my assignments! Yesterday, I made a really pessimistic verdict on what I should do in order to finish my assignment, to finish 2big questions (about 7 or 8 bite-size questions) and by Monday must finish the rest. Of course I was just playing it safe because due date is Tuesday noon. Happy~~ when I first heard that I may have break, I showed contentment to my student and her mum indicating I welcome this break. Anyway, it's a good way to let her know what she wants to be when she grows up. Let her enjoy her small break before th big war: the SA1. Thought that I should blog it and give praise and glory to God. Just like Isaiah 49:31 said, I will not grow weary and God wil find new strengths for me to carry on. I got my newfound strength to wake up at 8am after sleeping for 5hours and I feel ready to work on my assignment this early. Maybe I'll nap later before my short 2students teaching day. :)

A super long day with anxieties rushing~

My day started since 8.30am and I was late. There wasn't any teaching in the morning, just that I needed to get my passport from ICA. Finally, can register for church camp. The picture I've uploaded looks not bad in the passport. No photoshop some more. I realised I kept looking at it when I first received it. lol. 

After drowning myself with a glass of water before I left my house, I finally decided to eat around 11am. I had my lunch and wanted to buy a wheeled backpack with detachable day bag for future travel use. I went to Winning shop at Century Square and the stock and salesperson were a disappointment. I went to Travellers' Universe at Tampines One and they did not have anything that I was looking for. Again, I was prompted to go Sportslink, and that's where I found something that I'm still not regretting now. (Hopefully not tomorrow). 

Presenting: Timberland Polar Night. The Sportslink had the one and only (last) of this model. I love it because it is a wheeled backpack, plus a detachable day bag for me to carry around during my trip. Not only that, I can hook my sleeping bag for mission trips and the day bag is quite huge; I can carry my belongings like money, camera, passport, water bottle etc around with me. What makes it so appealing is its size, not too big, not to small. I am considering on bringing it around with me on this Saturday's teaching because I need to carry my two textbooks, laptop, tablet, handphone, and every other belongings around with me. Next time I can just pack this when I stay over at someone's place (bride's place in Nov and possible future staying for Sunday School Camp, etc). The price? Usual was $299 but I got it for $149. I guess it's an outdated model and they want to get rid of it fast, hence the 50% off. Still, happy with it! Besides, this aunty keep saying how good this is and was like attempting to take it from me. When she asked if I want to take it, I quickly say yes! I cannot find such a bag with this price..Well, I admit I'm a typical kiasu (meaning: afraid to lose) Singaporean!

Anyway, had a really long day but still not tired. I'm just afraid this is the start of anxiety-attack because I was trying to finish this question in my assignment and "snooked" (meaning: confused) myself instead. End up keep redoing it because I always, always get confused at some point. {-.-} I should REST and fight my battle tomorrow morning. May the month of May come soon.

A whole lot of anxiety

I am tired. Very very exhausted with studying and teaching. With that, it made me want to fly to Sarawak asap. However, I still need to endure for two more months before embracing the wonderful holiday.

Embarassing Thursday 
After teaching one student, my blue floral slipper gave way, forcing me to cross the road barefooted so as to buy a pair of slippers at Eunos MRT station. With much dignity in a pathetic situation, I walked with my chest up, trying to cover up from the passers-by who were oblivious about my missing right slipper. I know some people chuckled at my plight but that did not crumble my fake confidence.

Exhausted Friday
By Friday I am already half dead because my Thursday started from 7.30am and ended at 10pm. The rest that Thursday night did not help. My first student that day just stopped me from controlling my blood pressure. It wasn't a great day. I guess my pressure from my assignment also played a part.

Long-waiting Saturday
After my first student, I went to Seng Kang to study. I had my lunch at Ajisen because it was empty and I do not have to carry my stuff and food to the table as I was very heavy-loaded with my studying materials. This week I will eat at Bedok Reservoir Road before going to Seng Kang. The crowd was crazy.

Anyway, this tuition teacher of my student's brother was just ridiculously annoying. He kept changing the schedule, and in turn I had to wait for him to finish teaching before I can teach. I seriously think it would be better if I just teach my student in the living room. That guy don't deserve respect at all. Just a look at him at the main door made me despise him as a tuition teacher. He surely must know that the world doesnt revolve around him.

Nothing much on Sunday. Just rushing here and there, trying to finish my lunch before tuition. Today I got a shocking sms from Hannah asking me to choose a friend in YAF to do seeker bible study, if not they'll choose for me. Seriously, I work everyday with absolutely no contact with any other people around my age group other than people in church. Besides that, my time clashes with everyone, especially after my Eunos student resumes its Monday schedule at 2.30pm. Therefore, I am not looking for anyone. Let them choose, prayerfully I am able to acheive whatever they asked. Just wondering, MCG was not possible already. Why would they want to  do similar things is just beyond my understanding. I just pray that I am not discouraged from joining YAF next year.

Many things happening at the same time...

Just had my online session on my assignment review and discussion. I must say, after each session like this, I feel as if I am having some panic attack, dumbfounded and not knowing how to plan things well. Looking at which I am so not having YAF in this month, with teaching and studying occupying most of my time. Have I overpacked my time?

You know this thing about tutors: living at the edge of the cliff. You won't know when you will be unwanted, or whether you have enough for next month, or next week. I cannot even have my guitar class in church because I am unable to reschedule my Saturday class. How sad is it? Nevertheless I am still going to learn, get the tuner, and hopefully I can learn by myself or from the experts in church.

Assignment is my utmost priority now, and church camp. I need to multitask, without neglecting my students and my service for God. May God light my path. I have come so far to give up or screw up. I pray that all ends well, glorify God and I am happy with it.

God is always with me

I thank God for so many things. For good friends, for family, for a good career, for studies and many more.

I had a great time this weekend: Jun's church musical on Good Friday, fellowship with those who stayed over in church, had a wonderful sunrise service (thank God for answering my prayer on glorious day. It couldn't be better). By main service, I couldn't pull myself together. I left halfway to teach just to realised that I was kind of sleep walking. I cancelled my tuition that day because I couod not provide good teaching and I do not even have strength to move. As a result, I rested till 10pm.

When I woke up, I began digging for food after washing up. Thank God my family left dinner for me. Mum made steam whole chicken and I happily finish 3/4 of the chicken as my last meal was 9am. I proceeded with my last quiz and prayed for guidance, wisdom and knowledge. I remember wanting to submit my answers but there is a soft prompting to check. No harm checking, I thought, and changed a few answers after checking. Then another soft prompt telling me everything is ok, and I hit my submit button.

To my surprise, I scored 80%! I have calculated, I only need 20% to pass, and more marks means higher grades. I am left with two weeks and it is still hopeful for me. Tomorrow will be the kickoff of my assignment and I would certainly hope that I perform much better this time.

There are some things that were mentioned during my stay in church. As I reflect upon it, it made me understand things much more. I can be marriage-ready, but I am not relationship-ready. I am not ready to share my life with someone who does not know how to cherish, protect and honour it.

I love my life now, the life God has pushed me to even though I entered it unwillingly. This life verse of mine has been ringing,

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.                                                      Jeremiah 29:11

I will still pray for a servant of God as a helpmate. Helpmate till the end of our lives, to love, honor, protect and cherish, to populate the heavens and to bring glory to God through our union. God knows my heart and I am hopeful in Him who gives the best he thinks is for me.

A very Good Friday

Today, I took a whole day off to celebrate Good Friday. First of all, I went to Jun's church to watch the musical that he composed. Beautifully written, with some songs that resemble Chinese songs. As it was all in Behasa, Jun painstakingly translated one lyrical sheet in English for us. That's when we truly understand the musical with the beautiful voices.

I went to MRT with Hannah and we discussed about muffins and brownies. I've always wanted to bake something. I do feel better talking to someone once in a while.

Anyway, I recently joined a website called wattpad. It's a virtual site where writers post their work and share it with the rest. My first book is "Spiritual Networking". It does refresh some memories of my younger days. It makes me smile now, trying to imagine the whole scene in my mind. "Books bring you to the world" rings true. I can't help but indulge in the whole real imagination that I possess. You can say I just sank into the story and couldn't stop. Sometimes I do ask if I can have such a friendship, or even a man who would take the challenge to protect and love me. I'm just glad it made me happier, a little. At least I know I am warm-blooded.

I just joined the guitar class that will commence next sat. Excited I am! I can't wait to start my first lesson, and brother David is so kind to give me the last tuner he has (he bought an extra one for the class, thank God!). I'm just looking forward to ending my class, start a new planning of my student's revision and planning, plus exercising and leading a godly life all over again. Not that I'm not godly now, I just wish there are more. Like volunteering for community work, etc. It feels like my servanthood is getting stronger.

Speaking of community work, today there's this man in the bus kept kicking my shoe. I was annoyed but surprisingly I did not bother much. Like there's an instruction asking me not to. It happened twice and I ignored it. Just then, when the man wanted to alight, I noticed that he couldn't control his limbs properly. The bus E-braked and the man almost fell. His bag slid to his mid-arm and seemed to have difficulty balancing. Everyone just looked at him. I don't know what came to me, but I carried his bag and placed it on his shoulder. His genuine thankful smile took my breath away. I've never thought that helping someone can be so...rewarding. It's the selfless act of mine that shocked me, that tells me that serving is not about others but myself. Not about enriching others' lives but my own life. Similar to having to forgive others not because they need to be forgiven, but to help ourselves to get away from pain.

Anyway, I'm now having "Hunger Games" with my family. Hopefully I can get good rest for a long long day tomorrow. :)

discipline week

I have embarked on a discipline week. From last weekend, I have forced myself to study everyday so as to prepare myself for the quiz this weekend. My reward? A whole day rest on Good Friday and a overnight stay in church this Saturday.

I thank God for staying me through, always keeping me reminded with the pros and cons about giving it up. He also used this opportunity (through Sis Charissa) to remind me that teaching is not an easy process, but my willingness to learn will play a big part in helping those kids.

I am left with four hours of lecture to go. Tomorrow is the last lecture! This time round I must make sure my ECA has quality. My tutor has been great and I learnt a lot despite taking it for the fourth time. When I read the case study, it is more understandable, as if I understand the terms and processes mentioned in the case study.

I pray hard for wisdom and knowledge in finishing this module with grace. I am also halfway through with my church camp planning. Thank God for seeing me through financially as well.