It was a wonderful morning. Despite getting up super late, I managed to get ready in 15minutes time and had a wonderful, smooth ride to church. I thank God for his journey mercies.
I was alert even though I did not have enough rest. I was surprised during service and felt that there is a new surge of energy going through me but I could not explain that as well. After service, I saw Allvina in church library and we chatted a little about my studies. She asked what I would like to do after graduation and I told her about my uncertainties about my next step in life. Just when we were talking about Sis Karina, a long-service teacher, she entered the room looking for children's books for her colleagues.
Allvina took the opportunity to help me open up to her about my fear and desire to be a teacher. Of course, she told me the good and bad about teaching. The more we chatted, the more I was reminded why I want to teach....
Having come from SAC was not the path I wanted. In fact, I disliked the school. People were different from my neighbourhood primary school and the all-girls environment was just too much for me to take. Research shows that people without dads around are more likely to be a criminal than those who have dads around them. For me, I was literally going to the dark side of life without my dad in my crucial life-determining process (teenage years) to determine what kind of person I will be in future.
During my reluctant stay in SACSS, I had met teachers. Yes, not one but many teachers determined to change my life. They came at different points of my secondary life pulling me back from the cliff of self-destruction. Although I did not do well for my exam, my character was molded to be someone better than before. I can still remember the counsel sessions we had together, the initiative to talk to me privately when I gave them trouble in class and shared their life on a personal level. Some weren't catholic, but they have the christian belief to make a difference.
Although the ugliness of teaching was showed to me, I got more excited for unknown reason. I felt the pain from an ungodly home and I would like to let them (students) know that and understand that the priorities they make will affect their future. I was reminded why I want to be teacher and why I want it to glorify God.
Then I stayed in the library with some of us and discussed about the wedding stuff. With an intention to help the ladies talk-and-make-up-through-lunch, we asked AX to join us for lunch even though she'll just be having drinks there. Later, commotion broke off in church after our lunch. It involves my friends and one of them had her father started the whole brawling. It was an ugly sight...
Remember this post? Oh well, we arranged for AX and the couple to sit down and talk things out. We encouraged her and warned her of the complications she may face if she decides to put it aside again. Unfortunately, AX did not want/not knowing how to bring it up and talk about it. It lasted until the moment she wanted to say...until her dad called.
Probably her priority is towards her family and she left. We had decided to give up on reconciling their friendship and Shirlyn has decided not to do anything about it. Moments later, her dad was at church looking like an erupted volcano. The whole family actually waited for the David to be there. Before any conversation started, sounds of banging of table were first heard. Clearly, there was no self-control for her daddy because he thought his only-daughter was bullied.
What triggered my anger was she said we forced her to talk about it. I am deeply saddened by it and am still dwelling on it. There was an impulse to confront her and ask in what area did I force her. Did I pull her hair, called her coward for not doing that or forbid her from doing anything before she settles it? As I keep giving her the benefit of doubt that she doesn't even know the consequences of the words she had said, I feel like giving up on her because of my uncontrollable intention in protecting myself. I was advised to keep a distance from her because it deeply saddens me and it is affecting the way I may treat her (in order to protect her).
Eventually, David apologized for making a not-so-sensitive comment to AX. In my understanding, her dad got it wrong. "may God judge you!" from the comment that David made has 2 meanings (don't remember which verse David was saying. It was about being sanctified in our actions for God's judgement): judge when you do right OR wrong. When you do right, God will judge you and reward you. When you do wrong, God will judge you and punish you. Although in context biblically it is correct (as it also says, "God will know who is the one doing the "right" and "wrong" thing), David apologized because as a full-time worker he should have bring it down to a better understanding level and not an easily misunderstood word and not because he did the wrong thing.
This whole thing made AX very embarrassed as many were at church. As warned, the complications happened immediately after she left. God really make everything fall into His plan. I rejoice at the outcome, as her daddy was able to throw away that pent-up bitterness for 3 months out with no reservations, and we have decided not to do anything about it and will keep our distance from her (but will still be friendly to her, just not close to protect both parties). I believe the one who got hurt most was AX.
What I've learnt is that no matter how much you try to conceal and try to settle it as a small matter, if both parties do not work together, it will just escalate into a big and powerful snowball and may end up hurting people around the two parties too. The end-result is too massive and devastating if huge snowball is formed. If one party only do lip-service, do not take him/her seriously and move on until actions are done. Oh, and mediator is not an easy job. Either way, God will intervene, especially when you are least expected (we thought the complications we mentioned will happen few months down the road, not immediately after that lunch!). Nonetheless, it was an eye-opener on how things should be resolved. Thank God for a precious lesson.
No comments:
Post a Comment