A simple gesture in a really busy week

My head is full of things and I cannot concentrate. I have to serve this Sunday at Junior Program, decorate the banners for brothers' appreciation next week, preparing and brainstorming how I can help my students academically and in character, Shirlyn's wedding stuff assigned to me, and many more.

I have to admit, it just escalate the tension; especially being a passive smoker for 3 smokers at home. I thought I was going to die. I cannot imagine why would they want to destroy their lives for something so petty and non-beneficial. Worse, destroy my brother and my life for their cheap pleasures. I was sooooo depressed about my living condition that after praying to God about it, decided to let my parents know that I would like to move out.

Mum was shocked and she asked why. As much as I would like to stay in this house, I'm sure that staying in this house any longer will not allow me to live beyond 65. I have this high chance of dying before any of them. I already have difficulty breathing, despite exercising a few times a week. My mind is clouded, and frankly speaking, I got so depressed I cannot do anything but rest. After telling mum about it, I told God that it's all up to him now. Whether to stay or not, it's all up to Him.

Then, today my parents did something I appreciate a lot. So much that I did not know how to react. Dad automatically went out of the house and smoke, while mum went to on the fan to redirect the wind away from me so that I could not breathe the toxins in. Although the smell choked me when he walked in, I still appreciate the effort made by him. Mum did not smoke this day at all, and sis isn't home. I thank God for all these. Seriously, I know very well I cannot afford the rental, be it hostel or HDB room. I've even thought of asking Aunty Jeannie to help me find a rental room within budget. Besides, it is going to be super inconvenient for me. All for the sake of health.

Clearly, I believe God has his purpose for having me stay at home. After this gentle gesture from my parents, I became more understanding towards them. I'm not sure why, but this automatic return-gesture surprised me. At least I am willing to listen to my dad complaining - like my tolerance leveled up. I'm very grateful for it. Seriously, I've never felt this grateful and at peace with myself for a long long time.