Convicted

I just had the best moments in my life.

After the mission trip, I felt that something was missing. It wasn't the end of the conviction. There were more. Indeed, God provided more for me.

Conviction about what? About serving. Like what I've told my mission team leader, I'm not ready. I'm still a small bud in faith, in wisdom, in the spiritual realm that I think is important in it. I even mentioned this months ago to a brother in Christ about wanting to serve more and more. It just never gets enough.

I want to serve, and want to serve badly; So badly that my heart is pumping so hard that I can hardly breathe; So hard that every time when we talk about work in ministries, I'm so convinced that I have to contribute something according to what God has said in the bible.

Discipleship, disciple-making and from ministry-focused to knowledge-focused - so many things, and yet I fear that it's just a temporary adrenaline rush.

Am I ready? No, I'm not.

You can say that I'm hooked to do mission. I talked to another sister in Christ about North-East China mission; talked about going back to Mae Sariang; talked about serving Sunday School Camp again next year. What I fear is that the passion that is burning diminishes. How I fear that! I'm not even sure what to expect or even what to do to equip myself.

I pray that God will show me His perfect plan. I'm just so overwhelmed that I know I've changed. Thankfully, it's drastically for the better.

Hallelujah!