Matthew 6:33

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

I have been thinking of what I should write about this verse for about a month now. It spoke to me during quiet time, and I couldn't quite make the best out of it. No doubt this verse created a wonderful hymn, but I am still trying to grasp and understand what God was trying to speak to me through this verse.

That was when I looked back. The "me" 2 years back, and where am I now. Then I realised, at the trying time of battling everyday to get my life straight, I relied on God. Instead of asking God for this and that, I asked for simple things: to get my life straight, to be stronger than I was and to thank Him whenever I could.

I used to pray each time I was travelling to my student's place. Although they seemed repetitive, I always make an effort to make it different, according to each student.

Now, it seemed different. I stopped praying before each student, and I only look for God whenever my students gave me problem. Something must be wrong, right? Why such a change?

I'm afraid it is the lukewarm effect. Things you do almost everytime get you feeling stagnant. The sins I all-so-conveniently commit becomes a part of me. Yes, I hated and still hate committing sins. I still confess my sin, yet the always-not-enough feeling keeps coming, especially after I received Christ. What is it that God wants me to do? What can I do about it?

Then this verse popped out, telling me something. I have not been seeking God. In my selfish desire I wished God would help me in every situation. When things are well, I leave him be. Otherwise, I pray. Not wrong, but why not do it everyday, everytime? Why can't I be sensitive to what God has to say and expect?

I believe that will be my application. To seek him first. Nothing else matters.